I'm not just a Timelord... I'm the last of the Timelords... sort of...

Bad blogger! What the hell am I playing at - not updating?! BAD MEL.

I apologise for the lack of updates about my world - I'm sure all three of my subscribers have lost faith in me... I've let you down, guys. But, if it's not too late, allow me to try and fix it... by telling you all about the day I flew the TARDIS.

It was a Saturday, I'd spent the day before frantically making a TARDIS skirt...

Behold the TARDIS skirt - and don't even consider asking if it's bigger on the inside, I've been dieting like a crazy woman for Leaky and will not take kindly to your cheek. 

There it is. That's 6 hours of hardcore gluing right there. And I'm sorry about the terrible picture quality but I took it on my phone. I'm not even sure if the function I used was a camera or the sheer power of my mind channelled through it, but I *think* you get the gist. Hopefully, there will be better photos and then I'll whore them out to you properly.

So, I've got my skirt on and my The Whos t-shirt and I'm heading off to meet my friend Sophie so we can go to Forbidden Planet for Doctor Who day and get some free Timelord swag. After that I'm off to The Doctor Who Experience in Earls Court, followed by a party at Jigglypuff's (all whilst dressed as the TARDIS).

DISASTER! Jiggles got all mullered up the night before and has cancelled her party... The TARDIS must go home. Sadface... but wait... what's that on the horizon..? It's my knight on a white charger. AKA Sophie, who is having a BBQ and will let me go as long as I don't try and speak to any of her friends or try to be funny or witty. Job done!

So we went into Forbidden Planet and got our goody bags (mine contained a badge with a Dalek on, a Cyberman figure and most bizarrely... Dalek napkins. I kid you not. I am now the proud owner of some Dalek napkins...)

Then I went off to the DW Experience... and it was awesome!

We were taken onto The Starship UK and a Node was just in the middle of giving us a tour of some of the charming things they have collected (a very large telescope, a Van Gogh picture of the TARDIS) when BAM! Shit got real. The Doctor popped up on a screen, looking for Pond. Pond was not amongst the party so it was down to us to save the earth. Again. Cue the fworp-fworp signifying the TARDIS is coming and then we all went aboard. That's right - I went through the blue door into the TARDIS. And it really is bigger on the inside. We approached the controls, I had to elbow some little kid out of the way to get to one. Matt Smith said to make sure the kids were at the controls as adults were boring and drank coffee. I rarely drink coffee and we all know I'm secretly an eleven-year old boy trapped in the body of a hella sexy lady. So I ignored him.

We took off. The TARDIS was shaking and rocking everywhere and The Doctor was bellowing instructions and it seemed to be going brilliantly. And then it's not going brilliantly and we are in trouble. Big trouble. We have to leave the TARDIS, Christ knows where she's taken us. We rush down a corridor into a flight deck, it seems we're on a spaceship. And then a door opens and a Dalek comes out. We turn, horrified, only to realise our mistake a split second later when two emerge behind us. We're trapped. And they're pissed off. Bad times. It was genuinely scary to be faced with a Dalek screaming EXTERMINATE! Seriously, I felt the fear. Luckily The Doctor rocked up to try and talk them down. And promptly failed. So we're all braced for immediate and excruciating death when we're suddenly attacked by some other Daleks. This makes the original Daleks very angry and while they're freaking out we leg it.

The effects for this part were incredible. To suddenly see a spaceship loom up outside of a window and start firing was brilliant. But we had to go whilst we could and so we did. Right into a graveyard full of Weeping Angels. NOT OK. My eyes were almost bleeding from the effort of not blinking whilst we passed by them. I think we all made it.

The Doctor came back and told us he was going to get us out of there but then we were sucked into a vortex... Cybermen grabbed at us, Daleks fired at us, Sontarans glared, three Weeping Angels lunged at us... All in 3D which made very scary but very cool. Luckily, The Doctor managed to do some fancy trickery and get us out of the vortex and safely back to earth.

And then it was time for the exhibition. Which is stunning, You get to get very close up to two previous TARDIS sets and all of the major character costumes, as well as get to really pour over the details of some of the best-known and loved aliens and monsters. My personal favourite was the Vashta Nerada exhibit... think about it. And obviously the now-famed "Toilets located behind the Pandorica" sign.

Yup

It was just amazing. If you love Doctor Who, you have to go. And there are rumours it's being located permanently to Cardiff once the London run is done. Also - if you do go, don't just get a regular ticket but upgrade to at least the Silver package as I did and got £35 worth of merch for free... not bad when the ticket alone cost £31...

And then onto the BBQ, which took place in a park in Camberwell, Sophie and I, ever the classy ladies chugged back some violently blue alcopop stuff and talked about dresses (You can take the girls out of the City of Villains yada, yada, yada). We then went back to hers and looked at fabric for a bit. And then I was going to go home but my friends Rachael and Nathan invited me round for supper so I nipped in there and drank a lot of wine and ate stir-fry.

All whilst dressed as the TARDIS. Good times.

Oh... And Happy Star Wars Day... May the Fourth be with you xxx