Irelande... Douze Pointe!

Dea-lá! I'm back from Ireland, where I spent a fab and fun four days with Snow and K-Rob. Getting there was pretty tense, thanks Ashcloud. I barely got any sleep the night before, due to my obsessively checking the BBC website to see if I'd be able to fly. It looked good. I got to the airport and it was looking fine. Went through security, no special massage. I had a gate to go to. A plane was there. They let us on the plane, after the inevitable Hunger Games-esque battle that is getting a seat on a Ryanair flight. We put seat belts on... they locked the doors... we did the jump to hyperspace... one hour later... HELLO IRELAND. 
I have no recollection of anything that happened on the first night as I was beyond exhausted. I suspect it involved wine and lots of chats... I think we may have watched some Home and Away too...

Now, before I go any further, I wanted to apologise. I did take photos while we were there but I forgot to bring the software with me to make them get from the camera to the computer. So, to liven up this post, I have used a very sophisticated program to recreate some of the events. You'll like it. Or not. 
Wednesday dawned and we got up and went into Cork City. I love Cork City, there are lovely shops and things and O'Conaill's chocolate shop is there and so I started work on my chocolate baby. And then lovely Orla came over for dinner and Snow made a scrummy pie and we ate it and then it was off to meet Martha and watch Alan Carr at the Cork Opera House.

The show was part of his warm up tour, testing out the material for his UK tour later in the year. It was pretty funny, my favourite line was him saying about living under a pylon and having a seagull for a leader. It was very London centric though, which took some of the lols away for the majority of the audience. What with them being Irish. And us being in Ireland... 
Then we went to Sin E for a supposedly swift drink. We weren't swift. We had a drink, decided it was imperative I moved to Cork and then celebrated by going dancing in Crane Lane to Sexrock. Seriously Sexrock. 
Here we are, dancing. 

Me, Snow, K-Rob and Martha getting down with our bad selves

We were dancing to the sexy tunes of Lord Bishop, a trio of degenerate sex-Gods from America, the leader of which was a seven foot tall wizard man. They were ace. All the songs were about sex or God and the singer kept trying to pour Jack Daniels into the gobs of his dancing minions. Some random American man started twirling me about all over the shop before lifting me right into his arms and spinning me about. He then vanished... I assumed I'd inadvertently broken his back but no! He'd gone to the bar. He came back and apparently went in for a kiss, but I missed this. Martha told me about it later whilst we were eating the World's Best Pizza. Thereby proving that I am a hot piece of ass in Cork. And also oblivious to a lot of things.

After he was done spinning me, a nice man called Adem from Morocco decided he'd have a go, but I was far too interested in spinning K-Rob and Snow around. Then we got a shout-out from the band who said 'This song goes out to these beautiful ladies here....' He then said something about having sex with all of us. We didn't like that bit so much. He was very sexually potent, we were a bit worried we might have got pregnant by osmosis. 

The following day, we went into town for a bit so Snow and K-Rob could do some biznizz. K-Rob's amazing jewellery is now stocked in Ruby and Peacock in Cork City. But if you can't get over there, you can always check out her Etsy shop, which she'll be restocking soon. We're also working on plans for general world domination but you'll have to wait and see for more on that. 

Then we went home and watched Tangled, which instantly became my second favourite Disney film of all time! Flynn Rider is a babe, Maximus is a dude, Rapunzal rocks and Pascal is a sweetie. 

These are my favourite Disney films:

Hercules

Tangled

Robin Hood

Beauty and the Beast

Friday was Zoo Trip Day! We met Mary for breakfast at The Mill and bullied her into joining us and then we (Snow) went and made pie and then we drove to the zoo! 

Us driving to the zoo

We saw lots of animals including giraffes, cheetahs, pelicans, kangaroos (complete with freaky baby kangaroos upside down inside them) gibbons, a tapir and some lemurs.

We saw three lemurs sitting having a cuddle... then a fourth one arrived... then a fifth... then a sixth! It was Cuddle O'clock in Lemur Town. And then the sixth one started grooming his gentleman parts in front of us... We left them to it... 

Then Snow took us on a tour of Ireland and we went to Garryvoe and Ballycotton and Midleton and Douglas and we had a look at where Rachel Allen has the cooking school in Ballymoloe and we ate some chips and went on a beach and had some tea and it was lovely. And later that night we all got drunkened and sang very loudly and tried to write our own song... which mostly consisted of one liners from the previous few days... it's got 'HIT' written all over it...

Then it was Saturday and we went back into Cork for lunch at Eddie Rockets and a final glimpse in all our favourite haunts before we had to fly home. We were very subdued on the flight, though K-Rob tried to keep my spirits up by telling me about all the wonderful things we shall see in Disney World in a few weeks.

On Sunday, K-Rob and I watched Southend Air Show and oooohed and aaaahhhhed at all the fancy planes and then she left too. So I now had no Snow and no K-Rob. Nightmare! It was especially bad as Snow had been taking brilliant care of us all week and now I had to make my own tea and sandwiches. DISLIKE.

And so here I am. I still need to catch up on Doctor Who and Game of Thrones, as well as knit a laptop and camera case.

And from Wednesday I'll be re-reading all of the HP books and watching the films in prep for the finale. I'll also be doing the 30 Day HP Challenge right here on my blog throughout June, so stay tuned. 

Finally, as a little treat here is a pic of K-Rob sliding down a pole in the play park at the zoo... just you wait until I can get the real pictures up...

One life. No fear.

Addendum: I've just read this back and I used the word 'Sex' a lot... that's the power of the Irish for you. They're a sexy bunch. 

All parties should end with Riverdance

Well, since my last post I've been mired in a pit of debauchery. Or what passes for debauchery if you're a dork. So you can clear your mind of Byronic orgies and Satanic rituals. A lot of the debauchery involved tea. If you wanted something slightly more R-rated this is not the blog for you.

Last Monday I went over to London to spend some time with my new boss before heading over to my friend Rach's for tea. I would still swear now that my sole intention for the night was to have tea. I really meant it. I got there and Lizzy arrived and we had some tea and it was going nicely to plan. Then Rach mentioned she could make apple Martinis and had the ingredients... after 2 Lizzy and I decided that we should probably stay over... after 4 we decided the best thing to do would be stay up all night and watch films... then the rum came out. Why is it always the rum? We watched Sense and Sensibility, Pirates of the Caribbean, Hot Fuzz and something else and I had a very terrible case of Wizard Food Poisoning the next day. This necessitated sending people to make cups of tea which I couldn't drink and lying about on the sofa til 7pm when I managed to make my way back home.

And then it was Wednesday and I had to pack for Ireland and dye my hair... which finally happened at 1am in the morning because I was mooching on tinterweb and being a tit. When will I learn?

Ireland was ace. I love Cork. It's a brilliant city and it makes me smiley. Amy is also a brilliant host and I have never felt so cared for or welcome in my life; Tea, on the half hour, every half hour, delicious food and a comfy bed. It was bliss. Kylie arrived on the Friday and we got to go to Eddie Rockets for dinner (I have a big thing about diners - I love them) and then we went to Sin e. How I love Sin e. Last year we took up residence in there and spent a good deal of time and Euro there. So it was ace to be back and see how little has changed.

I even got to test my Sin e magic powers out and I've still got it! Last year, it was as though I was the most alluring and foxy creature to have ever existed. If I am attractive nowhere else in the world, I am a Goddess there. My latest conquests were named Padraig and Mumble. No sign of Liam though. Sadface.

Then it was Saturday and party day! We went over to Dunnes stores, which is a bit like what would happen if Marks and Spencers and Primark had a dirty fling and made a baby. It's got all the class (and produce) of a Marks's but with the nice prices of Primark. And a lot less child labour.

Kylie and I were responsible for cocktails and we had a list which was all planned out nicely... until we discovered you cannot buy Cream Soda in Ireland. You can get around 18 different types of lemonade but no Cream Soda. Which was essential for the Butterbeer. We also couldn't get pumpkin for the Pumpkin Juice. So in the end we decided just to use whatever we could find in the liquor cabinet and wing it.

We carried all of the liqour into the kitchen and then had a fun half an hour making cocktails and trying them. We made one called a Black Cat and a very odd kind of Firewhiskey but my favourite was the Chocolate Cauldron, which we made in honour of Amy.

To make your own Chocolate Cauldron you will need:

A jar of Nutella
Some Ice
Kahlua
Baileys

Pour a lot of Baileys and Kahlua into a blender. Add ice. Add three-four heaped tablespoons of Nutella and blend. Pour. Drink.

Trust me, it's nice. And Amy's dad said I could easily forge a career in cocktail making. So there you have it.

The party was brilliant, we were all dressed up as HP characters, I was Moaning Myrtle, Kylie was Lily, Amy was Hermione, Lucy was Luna, Mary was Tonks, Martha was Ginny... I think Aileen was Bellatrix and Amy's sister came as Amy's sister. But she is cool without a costume. We had crudites and fajitas and cake and icecream and meringues that Amy made herself (her meringues were frakking amazing) and then we danced!

Highlights include watching Luna give birth to the creepy Harry Potter doll Kylie had brought (not as creepy as good old Slasher, but creepy enough); everyone bar Martha doing Wuthering Heights and ending the party with Riverdance.

I'm not kidding.

Amy and Martha made us all line up and then do the Riverdance. And I'm not going to lie, we were good. Award winningly good.

Sunday we relaxed for a bit and then headed into town, where I bought PoA in the fancy new covers and sparked a whole plan* for the year. We had the best ever hot chocolate at O'Conaill's (seriously - milk and dark praline ALL THE WAY). We had a curry and then sat up doing jigsaws and chatting til around half 4. New plans were formed and it was all kinds of good.

Then home. Unhappy faces.

I've tried to spend this week being slightly less debauched and slightly more grown up, in preparation for work next week. I can get back to the debauchery after that - the day of Culture! has been planned and it's going to be fun.

So it's been a busy week. Lots of friends and fun and late nights and sleepy mornings and stuff that wasn't in the plan. But that's the best kind of stuff. I reckon, anyway. 

By the way - I also had my very first ever special 'massage' at airport security. The lady who caressed me had very soft hands and she was firm, but gentle. I thought afterwards we might go for dinner or see a movie but I guess it was not to be. I will tell you one thing though - they are bloody thorough.

And also thanks and kudos to Amy's dad who was the sweetest and most generous dad ever - especially when faced with a household of ladies. Ladies who like to sing a lot. He was a true hero.

Lucy as Luna, me as Moaning Myrtle, Kylie as Lily and Martha as Ginny.

*the plan is to buy a copy with a new cover on every adventure I go on - that way I'll collect them all and they'll all have fab memories of crazy times attached.