You and I remember Budapest very differently...

Hello my darlings! I haven't blogged for ages because I am SLACK. I am SLACK. And I have been busy. Since we last met, I have spent Halloween with Audrey Niffenegger and Erin Morgenstern, lost my life in the zombie apocalypse for the second year running, looked at lots of taxidermy, won NaNoWriMo for the third time, and machinated on a very secret project. But that's not what I'm here to write about today.

Today, I want to tell you about Budapest. Let me begin by saying Budapest is sexy. Very very sexy. It's about as sexy as Prague, which is pretty much the sexiest a place can be. Suffice to say, when I am a millionaire, I will be dividing my time between Budapest and Prague.

We got off to a cracking start, free airport booze and champagne on the flight. And then we were there. 


It's such a gorgeous place, the architecture is magnificent and huge, the scale of the buildings stands as testament to human vision and ability. To stand and look up at the awesome St Stephen's Basilica lit up at night is a beautiful thing to do. And that beauty is only enhanced by the availability of HOT WINE ON THE STREETS!

Yes! Budapest is another of those glorious cities which sells hot wine at regular intervals. I made the most of it. We arrived at our beautiful hostel, located opposite the National Museum and settled in. Most excitingly, we had a mezzanine floor in our room. In the flat of my dreams, I have a mezzanine floor, which is where I will slumber and dream so imagine my excitement when I find our room has one!

Then imagine my fear as it dawns on me there is no railing, and though I'm not normally one to fall out of bed, if ever there was going to be a time, this would have been it. Rest assured, dear reader, I survived. On our first night, we perused the Christmas Market, before heading back for a sleep. Which did not end with me as a broken heap of flesh and bone on a wooden floor.

The more observant amongst you will have noticed by now that I'm saying 'we' and not 'I'. This is for one very important reason. I DID NOT TRAVEL ALONE. And blimey, was I scared. I've grown a bit used to mucking around in strange places on my bod, so the idea of spending time with someone else was slightly nerve-wracking. What if she (by whom, I mean Pris, my former housemate and best muggle friend) didn't want to go to the zoo? What if 6 hours of wandering around aimlessly was not her cup of tea? What if my stream of endless inane chatter bored her to tears? Now, I know we've lived together before, but holibobs are different. Holibobs are about either; a) relaxation or; b) exploration. I'm a 'b' kind of girl, but not everyone is and I was apprehensive of a potential clash of interests. 

Happily, my fears were unfounded and Pris was just as excited as me to go and explore Hungary. 

On our first full day we rose and we walked! We saw the Chain Bridge and Parliament and the Shoes on the Danube Promenade and many streets and buildings. Then we found Margaret Island. It's situated in the Danube, between Buda and Pest and I'd heard a rumour there was a tiny zoo on it. We'd also heard we could rent bikes and cycle around it and we thought that might be fun, a bit of a cycle around with frequent stops for hot wine. 


And then we realised we could rent a pedal car! We choose our baby, called it Fülemüle (Hungarian for nightingale and the only word we knew at the time) and off we went. Pris drove and we investigated some monastic ruins and a bit of a convent and then I wanted a go.

I cannot drive for love nor money. Within moments I'd crashed us into a tree and we had to be hauled out by a very amused Hungarian man. Tail between my legs, I toddled off for a wine and a calm down. Later that night, we ate at a restaurant called Fülemüle (see what we did there?) and then we went off to the amazing Szimpla, escorted by Hassam from the restaurant, who had taken a bit of shine to me (seriously, he asked me how many men had told me I was beautiful and I replied with "Not enough". Stay classy, Mel).

It's easily going to be one of my favourite pubs in the world. It was so eclectic and vibrant and unique, based around social space, art gallery, meeting place and music space. On Sundays they host a craft fair there, people bring their art and their films and it feels genuinely Bohemian. We had beer and wandered around it and smiled at strangers and it was a beautiful night.

I loved it so much that I returned the following day after the ubiquitous zoo trip, where I saw and photographed many animals and had a very exciting encounter with a sloth. It almost touched me. I almost let it. Then I got scared and ran away. 

I had to go back and investigate Szimpla, just to make sure it was as good as I had thought it was (I'll confess, I was slightly under the influence the previous night, we had wine with dinner, sampled palinka and were given a free glass of Tokai wine to boot). It was, it really was. I spent a few hours with a nice man called James, who was travelling alone and we swapped stories about our trip before I had to leave for dinner.

On our last full day, we went over to Buda, strolling over the Chain Bridge and using the siklo (a funicular rail system) to get to the top. Buda is very different to Pest, classy where Pest is slightly grittier, Buda is reserved and regal where Pest is friendly and approachable. Both sides are beautiful, but very demonstrative of the fact that beauty comes in different forms. 

We toured the Castle Hill district, viewing palaces and ruins and the Fisherman's Bastion and Matthias Church, before heading just outside the walls to the Hospital in the Rock. A former hospital-turned-nuclear-bunker, it was a glorious peek into the mentality of Hungary during the Cold War and the lives Hungarians led under Soviet Rule. The Hospital was only opened to the public in 2002, for decades it had remained a secret from the world, cared for by a man and his family who could tell no one where they lived or what they did. 


The hospital was so secret, that when it was transformed into a nuclear bunker, fuel and water were piped into the facility via secret pipes hidden in the flower beds of Matthias Church. The staff there were told they had to arrive at the bunker within fifteen minutes of hearing the siren warning them of attack. Once there, the doors would be closed for three days, during which time they'd have no contact with the outside world. Only after that would they be allowed to open the doors and begin working as a hospital treating potentially contaminated patients.

After that, and because I really enjoy being underground, we went to tour the Labyrinth under Castle Hill. It's an 1050m long subterranean dream and I was in my element. The lighting is kept low and there's no escort or guide. They just let you loose in there. Even more exciting when a man comes around with paraffin lamps, hands you one and promptly turns all the lights out, leaving you in the darkness with only the lamp as your light source. 

Naturally, we toured the whole thing again by lamp-light, endlessly delighted with the Dracula chambers (he was imprisoned in Buda for approximately ten years, in the labyrinth system). It was so so exciting and it would have been amazing to camp down there over night. By 'amazing' I meant undoubtedly terrifying, but hey, one life no fear.  

We had dinner (after our escape from the labyrinth) and then went to an absolutely bonkers Hungarian nightclub, featuring papier mache foxes mating atop the bar, and owls with breasts watching over the dance floor. We found a room which looked a bit like my auntie's sitting room, complete with glass cabinets with knick-knacks and passed a merry hour in there, before heading on back.

After a wonderful, bittersweet last morning at the Christmas market, we left Budapest behind, arriving back in the UK just in time for some kind of meteorological judgement from God.  This is why I don't like to leave places. Amongst other reasons.

So there, in a nutshell, is a glimpse into Budapest. Honest to God, I know I say this about everywhere I go, but you have to visit it. You have to. It's the most amazing and vibrant and exciting city (barring Prague) that I've been to. 

I am in love with Budapest. And I got the feeling Budapest loved me, too.

ADDENDUM: I am such a prat. I forgot to tell you about the BEST BIT. When we got over to Buda, we could hear the alluring sound of Medieval plinky-plonky music. We investigated and found AN ARCHERY RANGE. I haven't shot in about two years, so I was inching my way over to a glorious little recurve number when I spotted it. A CROSSBOW.

I paid my fee and shot that little beauty and it felt like coming home. I was a bit rubbish, I won't lie but it felt good. SO GOOD. 

Then, the following day at the market, I found crossbow charms. GUESS WHO NOW HAS CROSSBOW EARRINGS?!