Shipping - what's all that about?

I've been thinking a lot about 'Shipping' lately. For those of you who don't know, I'm talking 'Shipping', OTPs, Slash and all of the other mysterious terms the cool kids use on the Internet to talk about people they believe would make a good love/lust connection.

In one entry on the ever-reliable Urban Dictionary, user Heligoland describes 'Shipping' as:

(Fandom) uses this word as a verb to denote their interest in the possible (and perhaps more often impossible) romantic relationship between two characters in a piece of fiction belonging to any medium. It's really never used in a platonic way, but if it ever is, people tend to separately emphasize that they are using it platonically.

And that's where all my thoughts have sprung from. 'Never really used in a platonic way'. But that's not a big deal, is it? I mean, Buffy and Angel aren't platonic. And neither are Willow and Tara, or Jack and Ianto. They are people who are meant to be together. 

But what happens when people start to ship couples whose relationships are inherently platonic? What does that mean?

My first question was 'Why?' Why do you want these two people, who get on brilliantly, who complement each other in every way, to also be sleeping together? Why does that make the relationship better, or stronger? 

From this, I wondered whether, in the eyes of fans, Relationships > Friendships? And, if so, what the Baggins?

Which, in a roundabout way, takes me into the concept of 'Friendzoning'.

Friendzoning is, from what I can gather, when a boy likes a girl a lot, but she doesn't feel the same, and - rather than accept the fact that she just doesn't fancy him - he is subsequently bitches about being 'Friendzoned', never to be allowed the opportunity to allow his man sword near her scabbard of joy. 

Again - what the Baggins!?
When precisely did we decide that everything about a relationship had to involve sex or it was a lesser sort of relationship?
I put this question to the Internet (I posted it on FB and Twitter) and the first response I got was from my friend Liam, saying that it had always been this way, we were just a lot more open about it now.
And I think that's precisely it. It has always been this way and we are a lot more open about it now. Back in the day, everyone wanted Elizabeth and Darcy to be together. Or Mrs Pepys and Pembleton (Samuel was a GIT). But it was never (except with Samuel, dirty GIT) explicitly implied that sex was the Holy Grail. Back then, we were shown esteem, admiration, affection and love. Of course sex was involved, but it was never presented as the centripetal force. More as a pleasant interlude between brooding glances. But today, all we get is sex.

Every magazine you open is littered with features on how to be sexy, how to have the best sex, how to get more sex, how to get the sex you want and so on and so forth. In 2012, everything is about sex. Openly. Sexiest male, sexiest female, bodies, faces, positions, toys. We are saturated with the idea that sex is the most defining quality your life will have. And not just by having it, also by not having it. Choosing whether to have sex, not have sex, to have sex with boys, or girls, or just yourself becomes your most definitive feature. Everything is openly sexualised.

So then why (given that we're human and we always actively seek out the very thing we're not told about) would people already bombarded with more sexual ideas and imagery than even Casanova could devise, seek out EVEN MORE SEX?

Is it, in fact, the unattainability that makes it so alluring?

People are always drawn to what they can't or shouldn't want. It's the Garden of Eden every time. So is the desire to pair two characters who are patently not romantically involved the next natural step? Is shipping unlikely couples society's way of the shunning the media-prescribed versions of sex we're given?

If you believe the media, the most desirable (in terms of expectation and emulation) relationships are between people who are attractive, thin, affluent, successful, charismatic and adventurous. These are the relationships we are told to seek out. Even in books, the last refuge of the individual thinker, the relationships that get the most attention are the Edward and Bella type. Her the delicate, frail beauty who has no idea of her appeal and he the brooding, rich Greek God vampire-man. I'm yet to see the angsty, occasionally ugly, bitter-sweet but real love of a couple like Hazel and Augustus get a four page spread.

But the Internet has given power to the underdog in a way that couldn't be predicted. It's given people the chance to explore life and lifestyles outside of their immediate towns and cities. It's allowed them to find people who have quirks and interests like they do and so whole communities have emerged, dedicated to alternate lifestyles and ways of thinking. And shipping is very much a product of the Internet.

But are people really using ships as a way to redefine romantic ideals on their own terms?

Possibly, although romance still plays second fiddle to sex. I could go on Tumblr right now and find links to some absolutely golden filth about the BBC's Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, or Arthur Pendragon and Merlin. Ships, it seems, are not immune to sex.

But I genuinely think that subverting relationships to make them fulfilling on a personal level, as opposed to the media-led ideal of what a successful relationship should be, has to be the crux of why shippers are so passionate about their OTPs. They are the new fairytale. Way back when, people could seek solace in the fact that a prince might come and rescue them, or a beautiful fairy would take them away to her land and make them her consort. But in a world that's striving for equality and equal rights, we're a lot less keen now on the idea of coming into a partnership as the weaker or more dependant party. We want it to be an even match.

And the best even matches start with friends. Pure, honest-to-God, I'm-not-just-being-nice-to-you-to-get-in-your-knickers friends. And all of the ships I've come across, which are non-canon, seem to begin with friends.

I'd just like it if, for once, friendship was the ultimate prize. I'm old-fashioned like that.