How to travel if you don't have a magical tree that grows money, or a genie that grants wishes, or if your dad is not a king.

PLOT TWIST! I remembered I had a blog after two years! Who saw that coming? Probably no one, not even Disney, who are always ready for a reboot of a lost gem... *ahem*

So, it's been a while. How are you? You look nice. I've been fine, thanks for asking. Some stuff has happened, a lot of it involving planes. In terms of not involving planes, I have a literary agent now, and a publishing deal and my first book will be out in the world next March.

I'm not joking, that actually happened.

But I'm here today to talk about travelling. I should be editing the aforementioned book but I'm putting it off by using the flimsy excuse of waiting for an email to confirm what I need to be doing and so in the meantime, HIYA!

Right... travelling. Yeah, I do that a lot. And I can understand that there might be people out there thinking I'm some kind of privileged, monied little layabout who spends all their free time gallivanting around the world. Which is partly true; I am privileged, in the sense that I'm fortunate to live in an age where travel is affordable and safe. But the fact is I earn less than the average UK wage and I have two jobs, three if you count writing. And I've been in work, in one way or another, since I was 16. I've been a shop assistant, bar staff, a florist, a carpark security guard, a green room assistant, a telesales caller (sorry), a marketing assistant for a football club, etc. etc. I put myself through college and university with my various and sometimes multiple jobs. I don't come from a rich family; on the contrary, I had free school dinners at school, carried my PE kit in a plastic shopping bag and wore Hi-Tec trainers. So for anyone who thought I was blazing a trail through Europe using my trust-fund, you're very sadly mistaken. All of my trailblazing is supported by a full time job and making and selling handmade jewellery on the side. So how do I do it?

Almost all of my money goes to towards travel. And almost all of my trips last 6 days or less, because of work. That's important to factor in, the following tips are not for the 3 month backpacker. These are tips for the City Breakers, the Weekend Getawayers, the Bank Holiday Escapers, the Only-Have-A-Week-Off-Workers. These aren't tips for people who want to zone out by a pool for a week. These are for people who want to plunge their metaphorical hands deep into the bloody chest of their destination and tear out its still beating heart. These are for explorers and adventurers. Because that's what I am. I go to see, and to learn, and to listen, and to taste. Most of my trips cost less than £300 for an average of 4 days, including flights, food, tourism, and accommodation (Scandinavia excepting. I sell organs to fund my Nordic funtimes).

Here are my tips for travelling on the cheap:

Tip #1: Don't be precious.

My weekly grocery budget is £20. That covers food, groceries and cosmetic stuff. All of my shampoo, shower-gel, conditioner etc comes from the Pound Shop. Make-up remover, and face-wash are purchased in Wilkinsons. My moisturisers come from Aldi.

I am the person who buys the food with the yellow stickers on at the end of the day. At least one of my meals each day is toast. I eat a lot of fish and vegetables, but I shop around for them and buy them when they're on offer and freeze them so I can eat well, but not pay over the odds. I hardly ever go to the pub, never to nightclubs. I go to the cinema on Cheap Tuesday and I have a Premier card to save points for free cinema tickets. I have an annual pass for the aquarium. If a location is less than six miles away it is walking distance. I have a railcard. I have a ton of loyalty cards and I save the points for luxuries. Most of my clothes come from Primark, Ebay or Charity Shops. If I'm feeling very swanky I'll buy things during sales from other shops. I have a pay-and-go phone plan. My idea of a luxury is fresh bread and a walk by the sea.

In short, I live on a really tight budget, so that every spare penny I get can go into my Adventure Fund. Sometimes it is a royal pain the arse, because I find myself wanting to read a book that the library doesn't have yet, or wanting to cheer myself up with a new lipstick that I absolutely don't need. It's about making choices. I can own stuff or I can see stuff. I try and make sure that 99% of the time seeing stuff wins.
                                                                                                         

Tip #2: Don't be a princess.

Before I started travelling, I had ideas about what it should look like. I thought it meant chain hotels and double beds and ensuite bathrooms. Let's flashforward to 2014: I'm in Paris with Emilie. Our room had bunkbeds, and in order for us to use the shower, the other person has to stay in bed and face the wall because the shower was actually just a tiny curtained box in the corner of the room. 

Three weeks later I'm in Amsterdam on my own, cosying up in a room that makes Harry's cupboard under the stairs look like a penthouse suite. This room is so small I have to choose between leaving the toilet door open or lopping my legs off above the knee to use it. If I choose to keep my legs I have a lovely view of my bed while I relieve myself (realistically I could poke the bed with my toes if I wanted). I have stayed in dorm rooms in hostels, I have stayed in rooms with no locks on the doors, I have stayed in peoples' spare rooms.

You have to lower your standards. Seriously. You have to stop thinking about where you're going to sleep as a home from home and start thinking about it as just a place to leave your stuff while you have adventures. You're not holding your wedding there, you're crashing there after a crazy day of exploring. I used to require fluffy towels and soft sheets and an ensuite and a mirror and aircon and all that stuff. Now I need it to have a bed that looks cleanish in a dim light and a toilet in the building somewhere that flushes on at least 2/3 tries. I can wing the rest of the stuff. As long as the area is safe enough and no one to the best of my knowledge has been murdered there, it's fine. 

Tip #3: Don't skip your homework

Research is your friend. Research is EVERYTHING. Use all the tools in your arsenal, i.e. the Internet. If I fancy a trip somewhere I'm on Skyscanner looking at the cheapest flights, then I'm cross checking those with Bravofly and the airlines' websites too.

I'm looking on Hostelbookers, Hostelworld, Booking.com and Airbnb for places to stay. I'm on Googlemaps making sure all of my prospective hostels are within walking distance of the major sights, or have good bus or tram connections. I'm on Tripadvisor and Tripomatic trying to find the free attractions, the cheapest restaurants.

I'm doing all of the logistics all of the time to make the trip as cost efficient as possible. I almost always fly on a Tuesday because it's cheap. I try and fly very early in the morning because those flights are cheapest BUT I'm cross-referencing that cost with how much it will cost me in train fare to get to the airport during rush hour. Is a bus cheaper than a train between the hotel and airport? Are citycards available? Will I realistically get my moneys worth if I buy one? What about museums? Churches? Free? Free on certain days? What are my must-sees? Must dos? 

I spend hours - sometimes days - on the net with a pad and pencil beside me as I work out the most cost effective way of getting to where I want to go. It's not easy, it can be stressful, but it's all part and parcel of travelling on a budget and if you want to do it then you have to too. 

Tip #4: Don't pack stuff you don't need.
Hand luggage. Seriously. If you can't fit in in hand luggage you don't need it. Hairdryer? Don't need it. Straighteners? Don't need 'em. I know you think you do, but that's because glossy magazines and peer pressure have tricked you into thinking without them you're a beast. You don't need them. You especially don't need them if they are the difference between free hand luggage and £25 hold luggage.

Again, you need to adjust your expectations. Unless you have a medical issue where you sweat profusely and constantly, or you cannot eat a meal without throwing your food down yourself, you don't need a new outfit for each day. You can double up. One pair of smartish, comfy shoes/trainers will suffice if you're somewhere for less than a week. When I pack, I pack all the clothes I want to take and then remove a third of them. Be savvy. You can get five days worth of shampoo, conditioner, showergel etc into those 100ml bottles. Be clever, take makeup wipes instead of liquid remover - they don't have to go in the special plastic bag. Take insect repellent wipes instead of bottles of cream or spray. Save those weird pots that hairdye gloves come in and use them for face scrub and moisturiser. Face serum can double up as anti-frizz serum. Eight hour cream can double up as pretty much anything.

Realistically, it doesn't matter if you're not red-carpet ready when you're on holiday, because the chances are very, very high you will never see any of the people you meet ever again, and if you do, they're probably much more interested in remembering all of the awesome things you saw and did than remembering you wore the same blouse three days in a row and the rain made your hair curly. 

Tip #5: Don't travel when other people are.
Don't travel in August/over Christmas/New Year's. Don't go during school holidays. try and avoid weekends and cultural/sporting events, unless that's why you're going. Go when it's quiet. You'll pay less and see more.

Tip #6: Don't be cheap if it's something you really want to do.

I know this whole post has been about saving money, but you're saving money for a reason and that is to EXPERIENCE. So don't skimp when it comes to experiencing. In the past three years I've done glass blowing in Hameln, I've seen the Northern Lights in Iceland, I've been to Eurovision in Copenhagen and broken into a prison in Tallinn. I've been to concerts and telly show filming and museums about cats and taken part in archery contests and watched geysers shoot 40ft into the sky. I've eaten creme brulee in the cafe from Amelie and drank champagne at the top of the Eiffel Tower. These things cost money. A fair bit of it, sometimes.

When it comes to a memory that will last a lifetime, spare no expense. You never know if you'll get another chance to do it, so while being thrifty is cool, be logical. This is the stuff that's going to get you through the dark times in the future. Invest in that over everything else.




That's it, basically. That's the tricks. 

Though some final tips would include:

1) Try and stay in a place that offers free breakfast. Eat as much as you can at breakfast. Stuff as much as you can in your handbag for lunch/snacks later. Don't be ashamed. Be Aladdin. Be Jean Valjean. Just don't get caught. You won't end up in jail but you'll feel like an idiot. Trust me.

2) Take a large scarf/pashmina with you. It doubles up as a towel if needed, as a spare blanket in a cold room, as a curtain in dorm room bunk bed. It's a shawl on a chilly night, a cover up for legs in a religious place, a picnic blanket or extra bag. No disrespect to Douglas Adams but I'm all about the scarf over the towel.

3) UK folk travelling in Europe should get an EHIC card. It's free and entitles you to free/cheaper medical treatment if you need it.

4) Travel insurance. Seriously. If you need to be flown home or repatriated or if all your stuff is nicked, you'll be eternally grateful you have it.

5) Try and learn your passport number off by heart. Take a photocopy of your passport with you. Keep it, and ideally a second copy of your boarding pass(es), somewhere separate and safe. That way if your passport is lost or stolen, you can prove who you are and still get home with minimum trauma.

6) Travelling alone can be just as cheap as travelling with people. Shop around, don't let prices put you off. You just have to work a little harder, but the results are worth it.

6) Change your currency at the post office. They don't charge commission. 

7) Trust your instincts. 

8) Have an awesome time.

The Northern Lights, Iceland, 2013.