Today really is one of the greats.

This is a blog post to show off.

I got home from work today to find post from my lovely friend Chris, who is the head of sound at RADA.

This is what he sent me.

Oh yeah, Alan Rickman

Today is made of win. My friend Chris is made of win. Alan Rickman sends me 'Best Wishes'. All is right in the world.

That is all.

Oh Hai Mel! Remember that time...

... that you inadvertently destroyed the village you used to live in?

I'm currently doing some writing for Magic is Might, the on-line interactive experience for Harry Potter fans, which details all of the things which happened in the wizarding world leading up to The Final Battle.

So I drafted a couple of articles for starters... one of which involved an attack on an elderly wizard by a muggle gang, which I based in a village I used to live in.

A few hours later, this was posted:

Cue much virtual carnage. It was grim. Total pillage and destruction.

A few days later, this was posted:

Bugger.

Not only did I accidentally end up getting Berkswell mangled beyond repair but it also got pinned on the good guys.

Sorry Berkswell.

Pass me the Ginger Beer, that vampire just died (Wrock weekend Pt2)

So... after Hercules we fell asleep. And then we awoke! Always a happy ending to a good night's sleep in my book.

*Spoiler Alert* Don't bother reading any further if you don't know how Series 3 of Being Human ends. I'm telling you now as I don't want you to get into the blog and then accidentally get spoiled because my writing is so compelling. So stop reading now. OK, good.

(Edit - just realised that if you'd read the title of the blog and my spoiler alert and if you had a brain you'd have probably figured the rest out. Well, I'm sorry but I'm not changing the title. I like it. It's your own fault for not having watched it yet. There is no excuse. If you can be online reading this you could be online watching it on BBC iPlayer. Let that be a lesson to you.)

Right then - for the rest of you:

We loafed around a bit (a lot) drinking tea and chatting until it was time to get ready and go to town and say good bye to Amy. It was sad. It's not nice having to say goodbye to people. Especially when they live relatively far away. Although theoretically it takes me the same amount of time to get to Ireland and it does to get back to my mum's and I visit her. Sometimes. Point being, I should go there more. To Ireland. Not mum's. Though I should probably make more effort with that too.

After we said farewell to Amy we mooched about Reading for a bit and ate some Krispy Kreme and then got the bus back to Kylie's. Except instead of just going back we went on an adventure in the woods!

It was just like being in an Enid Blyton novel. I even had a can of Ginger Beer. So we stalked through the trees, alongside the river, chatting away about otters and kingfishers and minks (minks? is that the plural for mink? Isn't it just 'mink'? I'm going to Google, brb .. it is minks. Weird. Talking of which, here is a picture I found on the Wikipedia page of a lady wearing a mink stole.

I don't think she is a queen, but I do kinda think she's a bitch for wearing fur. Maybe she didn't know it was real? I hope not. Wow, this has been a really long aside. I'll get back to story now. Sorry).

So we were wandering and keeping an eye out for herons. This is, in truth, why we ended up by the lakes. I quite fancied seeing a heron and dragged Lizzy and K-Rob along for the ride. Funnily enough, this is how a lot of our adventures happen, I'll quite fancy the idea of something but will assemble an army of accomplices to join me.

We walked all the way down by a river and then along White Swan lake, which was gorgeous.

Me staring across the lake. How wistful. Really wish I'd brushed my hair.

We walked all the way around it, seeing many ducks and coots and moorhens and talking about Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter and other stuff. And then we saw a heron on the other side of the lake! At least, K-Rob and Lizzy did. I didn't have my glasses with me but I did see a white blob. Heron. Fact.

And we saw some swans.

"Awwww... look at the swans."
"Are they swimming towards us?"
"Yes, but they won't come right up."
"They're coming right up."
"They won't get too close."
"They're getting closer."
"RUUUUUUUNNNNNNN"

We legged it back into the reeds. First rule of swans: They are descended from dinosaurs. ("You can really see the velociraptors in their eyes" "Yeah, and in birds of prey's eyes" "Yeah! Not so much in robin's eyes though").

And then we decided to go home and order some pizza. And then we got lost. And then night started to fall.

But it was ok! We are intrepid go-getter girly types! And we had some water and a Charleston Chew on us. And we could learn to forage and find food from the land. Or use our phones to Google Map the way out.

Eventually, we found our way out (oh, the advantages of getting lost with Hufflepuffs) and then we got back to K-Rob's and ordered pizza. And then K-Rob had to go but Lizzy and I stayed anyway and hung out with Matt.

No, Stan, we did not ask the Knightbus to drop us in Wales

And watched the series finale of Being Human.

You were the love of my long life *sob*

K-Rob swears she heard us scream at the end. We did scream. And cry. And clutched at each other. I mean, we kinda knew it was going to happen but there was that split-second where we thought it would be OK. It was not OK.


The King is dead. Basically because Stan Shunpike was going to use him as a hired killer otherwise. Nice to see Lee Ingleby on the tellybox again. And when he plays a psychotic megalomaniac he's kinda cute. Aidan Turner, Russell Tovey, Lenora Crichlow and Sinead Keenan were all amazing. Hats off to them. Excited for Series 4.


And then the following day I met K-Rob for a nice burrito lunch and a sit down by the river and a discussion about Hercules and Disney Princesses and what would happen if Meg met The Beast and and then I went home. Via Forbidden Planet which I found all on my own. Yeah, how about that then.

It was a good weekend.

Literal Interpretive Dancing in London (Wrock Weekend Pt1)

I am a jammy bugger, tis true. I got to have another of those completely amazing weekends with my friends. You know the ones, the ones where we are all there and amazing things happen and we laugh and memories are built.

Yeah, I did another one of those.

It started on a Saturday (in actuality it started on Twitter and Facebook and Skype about 3 weeks beforehand but I'm glossing over that part right now). I (finally) arrived in London town and met Amy and K-Rob and then Jiggles showed up (with her incredibly gorgeous new haircut) and we hugged and squee-d and it was lovely. And then Amy went off to do some stuff and Jiggles, K-Rob and I decided to go out to Upton Park to The Who Shop...

Which was awesome!

Jiggles and I outside of West Ham football club, making Dean Thomas proud.
"Wha choo talkin' 'bout Dumbledore?'

We got to have some photos taken with a Dalek and we met a nice lady and we went around and around in the shop and looked at all of the amazing stuff they had. They had socks with David Tennant on (which obviously I bought) and a cup in the shape of the TARDIS (which obviously I bought) and loads of other stuff like T-shirts and collector's magazines and keyrings and Dalek models and all the Doctor's as figures and posters and novels (which I did not buy - YET) and it was amazing. They also have a mini-cinema in there and to get into it you have to go through the TARDIS, but we didn't get to go in that. Next time. It was a fabulous shop. Carol, the lady who works there is really nice and we had a good chat with her about all things Whoovian.

K-Rob and I with a Dalek. He wasn't so bad.

Then we made our way back across London to meet Emma, Lizzy and Amy (bumping into James S, Laura and Cathrin on the way... pretty much during a 'signal failure') to get cupcakes. Mmmmmm Hummingbird Bakery. One of the rare times when the product lives up to the hype. I had the Black Bottom Cupcake and it was sooooo good. You just can't go wrong with cheesecake. I kinda wish I'd chewed it a bit more to get the maximum flavour from it. Never mind, guess I'll just have to go back...

After a quick tea-break and a chat with Amy's lovely friend Robin, it was time for the muso's to go sound-check and the fangirls to go and make a nuisance of themselves in The Smoke.

On our way to find Forbidden Planet we made a pit-stop at Cyber Candy and went batshit. K-Rob had to physically restrain me from spending £20 on tins of mints (they had mints that looked like Zelda shields, and Mario Mushrooms and Garlic Mints to repel vampires and moustache mints and werewolf repelling mints and brain mints for zombies and mints in Wii controller boxes... it was Mint Mania). For some reason, the idea of not owning all those little tins full of minty goodness was awful and I crammed them into my basket... but as I said, K-Rob took me aside and we had a little talk about how many tins of mints a girl needs and I was allowed to keep 3 of them. I also got some pumpkin flavoured biscuit sticks and some Moustache Elixer (flavour still unidentified) and some Cherry Mash (I still need to Google what this is) and we all got some Mountain Dew flavoured lip-balm. It was madness. Not quite as bad as when we were in Honeydukes but not far off.

Then we set off to meet Eliza in Forbidden Planet, except we couldn't find Forbidden Planet, even though 50% of the party were Hufflepuffs (We had a chat about this as well, when did AVPM and S stuff become canon? And how did we know what Hufflepuffs did before?) After trolling up and down Shaftesbury Avenue for about an hour we got bored and decided to go and get Chinese food. So we had dinner and Eliza came to us and then it was time to go!

And we met some boys on the Tube! There is an unwritten rule on the Tube when, if it is daylight, you may not talk to or communicate with any other passengers, even if they are your friends and you got on with them. But after darkness falls it is mandatory to talk to everyone in your carriage. So we chatted to some rugby-type boys about Bagheera, Shere Khan, Kaa, Sir Hiss and whether the reason Maid Marian was also a fox in Disney's Robin Hood was to prevent the ick-factor of potential inter-species breeding. And when we finally got to the venue it was amazing! It's so nice to walk into a room and see it full of faces you know and love! It's so awesome to go from hug to hug to hug as you get to see all the people you've missed. Neil was there! YAY! Lauren and Colleen were there! YAY! Elvira and Malik were there! YAY! James was there! YAY! Reine was there! YAY! And it's even more awesome when this takes place in a student venue and the wine is only £3 for a large glass. GOOD TIMES.

First up was the magical Margo with her band, The Deathsticks. Margo's voice is amazing. I don't know how else to describe it. She is able to move between notes with such grace and fluidity, making complex key changes which are haunting, to say the least. More than once during her set the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. 'To The Death' is such a brilliant showcase for her talent and my favourite song of hers. And she did a cover of Florence and the Machine's 'Dog Days' about Sirius (swoon). And one of 'Marauder's Map', which we managed to mess up the dance to. I don't think she minded though.

And then Amy was up as Romilda Vane and Kylie and I got to jump on stage and sing with her on 'Going to Hogwarts', which was beautiful and scary (beautiful being Amy and scary being me - pretty sure they turned the mic off once I got up there but they said not...).

Hide yo wife, hide yo kids

She also did the fabulous 'Godric's Hollow' and her version of 'Seven Potters', which is always a favourite with the crowd (and it was me that hit the top B. Siriusly. It was actually me.) Also, Margo joined her for a song which was ace as, throughout Margo's set Amy had been very softly singing along and I could hear and it was magical, to actually hear them together was lush. Properly lush. And she ended the set with Katy Perry's 'Firework'. Which was GENIUS as it got to showcase Amy's voice in a more pop-culture way and also meant we got to jump around. Normally I sob my way through Amy's sets as she's got this knack of using notes and lyrics which tug at my heartstrings. So it was nice that my mascara stayed intact.

It was also a clever move on her part as it got us all right in the mood for the hijinks of Siriusly Hazza P. They started off with 'Madame Puddifoots', which I love as it's a swing-esque song about tea. I love swing and I love tea. You can't normally combine them very well as scalding and a trip to A&E usually ensue if you try. However, somehow, SHP have managed it. So I take my veiled and be-ribboned hat off to them. They also played 'Witchface', which was poignant for me as two days before I'd dreamt they made blue glittery Team Laura: Witchface and red glittery Team Cathrin: Witchface badges for their merch (this was not a prophetic dream. I wish it had have been). For the record, I would have bought one of each. Obviously they finished with 'John Simons' (pretty sure they'd be lynched if they didn't) and just in the nick of time too as we were all knackered from dancing.

We rallied for a dance party though. Apparently at some point we did literal interpretive dances to 'Snape vs. Snape' and 'House Song'. And then I (allegedly) went one step too far and re-enacted A-Carp's video of 'My Baby'. I don't remember this at all and I remember the rest of the night clearly so I'm pretty sure it's a lie.

Then home to Reading  (via more interaction on the Tube) to watch Hercules (tee hee) and then sleeps.

And part two of the weekend comes tomorrow*

*and by tomorrow I mean when I'm good and bloody ready.

Who put the 'Glad' in Gladiator? HERCULES.

This blog started off being about how absolutely awesome Megara from Hercules is. I thought it was about time the spunkiest and sassiest Disney lady got a little bit of kudos. But in order to get the research right I had to sit and watch Hercules and it got me to thinking that not only is Meg awesome, but the whole damn film is just perfect. Hercules is, start-to-finish, a total and utter feast for the senses. It's the best Disney film. 


'O Rly?' you cry.


Yh. Rly. 

First up, let's look at Meg. Do you consider her a Disney Princess? 


Because Disney doesn't consider her a Disney Princess. She is a "Guest Princess" ... WTF? OK, so she isn't the daughter of a King, which is Traditional Princess Route A (TPRA). But she does marry a prince (Zeus, Herc's father is King of the Gods. Of the GODS [yeah, not just your average, common-or-garden mortal King but uber-royalty, King of Kings]. Making Herc a Godly Prince - hence, TPRB). So why doesn't she count as a Princess? And how the heck does Mulan count as a Princess? Well, from looking at the line-up of Disney Princesses, it seems as though there just isn't a target demographic to market Meg at. Lots of different ethnicities and skin colours are catered for in the Princess line and lots of different hair colours too, meaning almost every kind of girl can find a physical characteristic she can identify with in a Disney Princess. But there's no room for Meg. 


Are you freaking kidding me? What about the target demographic of girls who grow as people and learn something about themselves as they make their journey through life? What about the girls who aren't massively content to have a nap/hide in the woods/sweep the kitchen and wait for their rescue? What about the girls who are capable of doing the rescuing?


Apparently I missed the bit where it stopped being 2011 and we went back 100 years. Hercules was made in 1997 (other awesome stuff that happened in 1997 - Harry Potter was first published, we won the Eurovision song contest, Jurassic Park - The Lost World came out). And here we are, 14 years later and the sassiest, most forward-thinking Disney heroine is all but forgotten. And she really is a hero! A 'True Hero' as Zeus would have it. She lays down her own life for Hercules (admittedly he does the same but we'll come back to that later). And it's the second time she's put the person she loves waaaaaaay ahead of herself, even though the consequences are dire for her. 


When she realises she has feelings for Herc - even though she has no plans to acknowledge them - she tells Hades she won't help him hurt Hercules (and she doesn't directly - Herc is already in love with her when Hades decides to use that as part of his plan, Meg has done nothing further to aid Hades). When it all gets a bit grim, she goes and rescues Pegasus, finds Philoctetes and goes and tells Hercules what's going on. She accepts her own death as a fair price for Herc's. And finally, when he achieves his life-long dream of returning to Olympus as a God, she is prepared to let him go, even though she loves him. 


She grows throughout the film too and she learns about herself and about other people. At the beginning of the film she clearly thinks men are weak and stupid, fickle creatures and are only there to be played with at Hades' behest. She thinks all people are petty and dishonest. She thinks it's OK to manipulate and play around with people. And by the end? She knows that all of the above is not necessarily right. She learns that not all people are the same and that not everyone is a user. She learns that doing the right thing is more important than doing the easy thing (where have we heard this before?). Not that many other Disney girls actually grow as people during the films. Mostly it's just the circumference of their dress hems which grow.


(Is this why Meg isn't a Princess? Because she doesn't do a costume change into a meringue? Shame on you, Disney). 


And she dies. She actually, full-on dies. She doesn't have a magical nap but she bites it. Take that, Snow White. Suck it up, Sleeping Beauty. She sacrifices herself to save another's life (again - this motif seems a little familiar). 


And she has hips. And she uses them. All my best moves are thanks to Megara. 

Meg. My mentor.

Which brings us to Herc. Who is just a straight-up, nice guy. He's not streetwise, or slick or regal or a genius. He's kinda awkward, he loves his parents (all of them) he's a little silly and has the very best intentions, almost all of the time. And like Meg, when he falls in love he falls deep. After Meg gives up her life for his, he fights his way to Hades' realm, tames Cerberus and then dives into a river (I'm guessing at Lethe) to pull her out, even though this might mean he dies too. I know it's pretty common for Disney boys to be all self-sacrificing, but how many have to do it because the girl they love has already died for them? 


He's a hard worker too, that boy Herc. He makes Luke Skywalker's training with Yoda look like a game of Rally 1-2-3. He trains and he trains and then he saves and he saves and he keeps on at it because he wants to achieve his dream. What a positive role-model he is! He quite literally wants to go the distance and he's willing to do the work involved.


But the very best thing about Hercules? At the end, he is offered the very thing he has been fighting for throughout whole film. He is finally offered a place in Olympus, to take his place by his father as a God. And he says 'Nope.' Because he has finally realised that where he belongs is with Meg. He gives up the chance to be a God because he loves Meg. He is THE MAN. 


And talking of 'the man', what about Hades? He's just such a dude. He's sarcastic, flippant and completely terrifying. And he's kinda hot. I'm serious, Hades is buff. I can see how Disney have tried to uglify him so we can identify him as the baddie but he's still hench and charming with it. He charms the Fates into giving him what he wants after all. And they are a tough crowd. 

Admit it. He's charismatic.

Oh yeah - and he's a God. Not a nasty step-mother, or a witch, or a weird French fop or even a megalomaniacal lion (though Scar is boss). He'a a God. So surely as evil goes he's the cream of the crop? He doesn't have a castle stronghold, but an entire realm. His hair is fire. He's funny.


Do you know what else? Despite the fact that the majority of the cast are Gods, demi-Gods or mythical creatures they are all incredibly human. They all have faults. Meg isn't saccharine-sweet and perfect, animals don't flock from the forest to be near her delicate presence. In fact, she can be a bitch at times. Hercules isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Hades can be reasonable and compassionate. He tells Hercules he'll keep Meg safe while the Titan's rampage. Even though he owns her soul anyway. Every single one of them has flaws. 


How could I forget the songs?! The songs are amazing?! Who doesn't start jerking their shoulders involuntarily when we hear the Muses. They are fabulous! Who hasn't sang 'Go the Distance' in their head when they've been schlepping through the snow in mid-winter? Who hasn't hummed 'I Won't Say I'm in Love' after a surprisingly good third date? The score is out-and-out amazing. It's catchy and sweet and hella sexy. 


What more do you want in a Disney film? It has all the necessary tropes to make it recognisable as a Disney film but it also has a few surprises too. It's forward-thinking and empowers women, it's got a bit of smut for the grown-ups. The songs are catchy and sing-a-long-able. The hero is definitely an actual hero and the heroine is totally a heroine. Sure, it takes a story and turns it on its head, that's Disney and we're OK with that. But this is more than just your average Disney film. This is a film about growth and hard work and perseverance. Not tra-la-la-ing until someone comes to save the day.


So there we have it. A very biased and one sided diatribe about Hercules. The best Disney film ever. And if you disagree, you're wrong. Pure and simple. But feel free to rebut :) 

Shoes.

I now own a pair of these shoes.

They are mine. I went into T K Maxx for the very first time today and was having a look around and I saw them. And they were in my size. The only pair in the whole damn shop and they're in my size. And they are about 80% off. In my size. Only pair. Mine.

Mine.

If I could change my Facebook status to 'In a relationship with Irregular Choice' I would.

I love them. How on earth were they still on the shelf? The shop had been open for at least 5 hours before I spotted them. People of Lewisham - what were you thinking?

What fools these mortals be.

You can't get pregnant from a golden shower, no matter what the Greeks say.

Hello Internet. I missed you. A bit later in this post I'll explain the title, which isn't arbitrary but actually the result of a very intellectual conversation. OK, the 'intellectual' bit is a lie but it did arise from a conversation. In a pub.

But first, let me mark the passing of a big part of my life and pay tribute to it. My poor old faithful laptop, The Machine, finally died after a long battle three weeks ago. He was very elderly when he came to me and suffered two major heart attacks in the last two years. And three weeks ago, after holding on long enough for me to register for LeakyCon, he passed away peacefully. I mourned his passing for a few moments before realising the little tinker had in fact left me up the creek. All my writing was on him, not backed up (my fault, I know) and I had no access to the world. Now, I know this isn't true as obviously I have a telephone and can read and write, but I still run most of my life through the web.

I use the web to stay in touch with people, to coordinate diaries and make plans. I use it to find out what's going on in the world and to research ideas. When I'm sad I use it to look through pictures and posts that remind me I'm not alone. I look up words I don't understand. In short, it's pretty darn important to me. I know you can live without it but I've chosen not to. And so not having it left a big gap in my world.

But I'm nothing if not resourceful and thankfully I'd read Sense and Sensibility a couple of weeks beforehand so I did what any sensible young lady would do and went Jane Austen on it's ass. For the past couple of weeks I have been knitting. I've finally mastered purl stitch and have been making a scarf in double rib. I've written letters (or corresponded if you like) and sent cards to my friends. I've tried to learn to crochet. I've failed to learn to crochet. I've read a ton and also explored writing ideas in my head. I've been on long walks. But I was still ecstatic with joy when I got my new laptop. It does all kinds of things!

I can use Skype and my browser at the same time! iTunes downloads songs in seconds, whereas before it did it in real-time. I can watch videos with both sound and vision! I can have Chrome as my browser. I can use wireless and even use wireless in my bedroom. This is love.

What else have I been up to? Well, I went to London and had a brilliant weekend with my girls (and the boys). We had a party at Platform 9 3/4 for Lizzy's birthday and then we went to the V&A to see the Shadow Catchers exhibition which I've been dying to see since last November. It was eerie and beautiful to see photographs taken without cameras and also very inspiring. We went out for dinner (this is where the Golden Showers comment arises from) and had a very bizarre conversation about myths and the funny things those crazy Greeks.

Seriously, Zeus begot Perseus on Danae by transforming himself into a golden shower and loving her... Try explaining that one, Bliss magazine.

"Dear Emma, 


I've never been on a date, or kissed a boy. But I'm pregnant. I'm not allowed to date, my father has some crazy idea that if I date I'll get pregnant and my son will kill him. About 6 weeks ago I was alone in the gardens and a golden shower fell upon me. It was very nice and I enjoyed it but I think it might have been the King of the Gods, Zeus, in another form. It's not the first time he's done something weird like this, my friend Leda got knocked up by him one time when he turned into a swan. But I'm really worried my dad will freak out. What should I do?


Scared in Argos (the ancient city, not the shop)"

"Dear Scared in Argos, 


I'm not really sure what to say. Although, biologically I can assure you that you can't get pregnant from a 'golden shower' as it requires a biological function which cannot occur at the same time as the function required to get you pregnant. I think you need to chat to your dad and tell him the truth. And your friend Leda is clearly on some kind of mind altering drug and needs to see someone professional about this, at least for the child's sake. I've sent you both some pamphlets which give you further information about how to deal with your respective problems."


Yeah. 


We then saw The King's Speech, which deserves any and all accolades it gets as it was brilliant. It was surprisingly funny and touching and the entire cinema clapped at the end, which has rarely happened to me but is lovely. We did some sleeping and chatting and then went back to the pub for a lazy and fun afternoon on the Sunday. I wish my friends lived in my pockets so I could get them out whenever I wanted them. Actually, I probably could get Lizzy in my pocket. I'll have to give it a try next time I see her. As long as she's not armed.

A few days before that I went out with my friend Sophie and we had a bottle of champagne in the middle of the day. On a Thursday. So that's what mums do when their children are at school is it? Maybe I should rethink this whole parenthood thing as it's suddenly quite appealing...

Other than that I've bought some new tops, sworn to get back on my healthy diet, dyed my favourite jacket black, celebrated some brilliant news my friend Jules has had, semi-celebrated some brilliant news I had, offended someone terribly, explored a new town, talked about ghosts a lot and generally just minced around.

So that's about it. For now.

Here we are in the V&A. Eliza took this photo, hence her not being in it. I could have chosen one which she was in but this is the only one where my arm cannot be mistaken for a leg of lamb. So this one won. Sorry Eliza, I love you.

Kylie, Emma, Emilie, Me, Lizzy and Sophia in the V&A. Arm only marginally looks like a butcher's product. That's as good as it gets.

Coming out

Now, if you happen to be the person who asked me on Formspring "Someone told me you are into girls. Are you? (This sounds like spam. It's really not)" then this blog isn't me finally 'fessing up. To the best of my knowledge I am heterosexual. I could be wrong, I may just have not yet met the woman for me, but realistically, I am friends with some of the most beautiful women on the planet. If they haven't managed to make fall for them, it's not likely. So if that's that's why you're here you're about to be very disappointed. This blog isn't about coming out of the closet in that way. This blog is about passion.

I am a very passionate person. When I love, I love completely. It's all-encompassing and consuming. If I give my devotion to something then it holds it almost indefinitely. Obviously, if I am betrayed then it changes but on the whole once I give something my loyalty then it's a keeper.

Everyone has passions. Some people are passionate about shoes, or sports. Some people are passionate about television series. Some are passionate about nature. But we all have something we are the most passionate about.

Check this out: 

This is the Nerd/Geek/Dork Venn diagram and can be viewed in all its glory here at Great White Snark which is where I first saw it.

The point I'm trying to make is that when we are passionate about something, we become obsessed with it. And obsession is one of the key factors in Nerd/Geek/Dorkism.

And when we have these traits, it's very hard to keep them under wraps. Our enthusiasm and zest for our chosen obsessions make them uncontainable. Our allegiance to them becomes public knowledge. We are proud of what we love and will fight for it.

But try explaining that to someone who just doesn't get it.

And that is what I mean by 'Coming out'.

It's not any kind of secret, and nor has it ever been, that I love Harry Potter. Because of HP I have done a lot of crazy things. I've met and subsequently gone to stay with people I'd only ever met on the Internet. I've attended a conference not knowing another soul there. I've flown to Scotland, Ireland and America. Across America, in fact. I've slept in Leicester Square in mid-November. This is the real deal. It's full-on Nerdtopia.

But how the hell do I explain why I, a fully-grown woman with a degree in Music Technology and a penchant for 1950's styling, am so into it?

'Why do I have to?' You ask. Well, in my line of work I work intensively with people. I spend an entire half of the year with them, living side-by-side with them. So things come out. Nothing can stay hidden. And as I said earlier, when you have a passion you want to shout it from the rooftops. To not do so, to deny or damp it down would be like a betrayal of your very soul. And also it's just polite to explain why you need two weeks holiday in mid-July and the exact time is non-negotiable. Or why you have to go to take photo's in a cinema in Norwich but not actually go and see a film. Or why you grin involuntarily when you hear certain words. When something is a big part of your life you can't hide it.

So inevitably, the time comes when I have to explain that I freaking love Harry Potter.

Reactions vary; some people don't care and just accept it; some think it's weird but OK; some think it's a sign of arrested development and that I should see a counsellor. Others ask questions and are intrigued. It's always different. I've tried a lot of ways of getting it out there too. From just saying 'I bloody well love HP' to 'Yeah, I might go - it'll be a laugh. Some of my mates like it...'

The trick is to remember that everyone has a passion. They might not think they are a nerd but they'll be nerdy about something. All you have to do is find out what it is and make sure you indulge it. And then use that to explain why it is you love what you love. Being a nerd isn't about glasses, or pocket protectors, or bad clothes, hair, shoes or any of the stuff the media tells us it's about. Being a nerd is about having passion.


So once again, I've come out. Discreetly and in a low key manner but never-the-less, I've done it. My parents know, the people I went to school with (and now only communicate with via Facebook) know, the staff in the Elephant House definitely know. And now my boss knows. My account with Nerdtopia is settled. I've been true to myself and truthful overall. I'm out.

Passion. Passion is important. Passion is the reason we get out of bed in the morning, the reason we put up with bad things, the reason we get excited about the future. And to fully embrace that passion you have to come out.

All parties should end with Riverdance

Well, since my last post I've been mired in a pit of debauchery. Or what passes for debauchery if you're a dork. So you can clear your mind of Byronic orgies and Satanic rituals. A lot of the debauchery involved tea. If you wanted something slightly more R-rated this is not the blog for you.

Last Monday I went over to London to spend some time with my new boss before heading over to my friend Rach's for tea. I would still swear now that my sole intention for the night was to have tea. I really meant it. I got there and Lizzy arrived and we had some tea and it was going nicely to plan. Then Rach mentioned she could make apple Martinis and had the ingredients... after 2 Lizzy and I decided that we should probably stay over... after 4 we decided the best thing to do would be stay up all night and watch films... then the rum came out. Why is it always the rum? We watched Sense and Sensibility, Pirates of the Caribbean, Hot Fuzz and something else and I had a very terrible case of Wizard Food Poisoning the next day. This necessitated sending people to make cups of tea which I couldn't drink and lying about on the sofa til 7pm when I managed to make my way back home.

And then it was Wednesday and I had to pack for Ireland and dye my hair... which finally happened at 1am in the morning because I was mooching on tinterweb and being a tit. When will I learn?

Ireland was ace. I love Cork. It's a brilliant city and it makes me smiley. Amy is also a brilliant host and I have never felt so cared for or welcome in my life; Tea, on the half hour, every half hour, delicious food and a comfy bed. It was bliss. Kylie arrived on the Friday and we got to go to Eddie Rockets for dinner (I have a big thing about diners - I love them) and then we went to Sin e. How I love Sin e. Last year we took up residence in there and spent a good deal of time and Euro there. So it was ace to be back and see how little has changed.

I even got to test my Sin e magic powers out and I've still got it! Last year, it was as though I was the most alluring and foxy creature to have ever existed. If I am attractive nowhere else in the world, I am a Goddess there. My latest conquests were named Padraig and Mumble. No sign of Liam though. Sadface.

Then it was Saturday and party day! We went over to Dunnes stores, which is a bit like what would happen if Marks and Spencers and Primark had a dirty fling and made a baby. It's got all the class (and produce) of a Marks's but with the nice prices of Primark. And a lot less child labour.

Kylie and I were responsible for cocktails and we had a list which was all planned out nicely... until we discovered you cannot buy Cream Soda in Ireland. You can get around 18 different types of lemonade but no Cream Soda. Which was essential for the Butterbeer. We also couldn't get pumpkin for the Pumpkin Juice. So in the end we decided just to use whatever we could find in the liquor cabinet and wing it.

We carried all of the liqour into the kitchen and then had a fun half an hour making cocktails and trying them. We made one called a Black Cat and a very odd kind of Firewhiskey but my favourite was the Chocolate Cauldron, which we made in honour of Amy.

To make your own Chocolate Cauldron you will need:

A jar of Nutella
Some Ice
Kahlua
Baileys

Pour a lot of Baileys and Kahlua into a blender. Add ice. Add three-four heaped tablespoons of Nutella and blend. Pour. Drink.

Trust me, it's nice. And Amy's dad said I could easily forge a career in cocktail making. So there you have it.

The party was brilliant, we were all dressed up as HP characters, I was Moaning Myrtle, Kylie was Lily, Amy was Hermione, Lucy was Luna, Mary was Tonks, Martha was Ginny... I think Aileen was Bellatrix and Amy's sister came as Amy's sister. But she is cool without a costume. We had crudites and fajitas and cake and icecream and meringues that Amy made herself (her meringues were frakking amazing) and then we danced!

Highlights include watching Luna give birth to the creepy Harry Potter doll Kylie had brought (not as creepy as good old Slasher, but creepy enough); everyone bar Martha doing Wuthering Heights and ending the party with Riverdance.

I'm not kidding.

Amy and Martha made us all line up and then do the Riverdance. And I'm not going to lie, we were good. Award winningly good.

Sunday we relaxed for a bit and then headed into town, where I bought PoA in the fancy new covers and sparked a whole plan* for the year. We had the best ever hot chocolate at O'Conaill's (seriously - milk and dark praline ALL THE WAY). We had a curry and then sat up doing jigsaws and chatting til around half 4. New plans were formed and it was all kinds of good.

Then home. Unhappy faces.

I've tried to spend this week being slightly less debauched and slightly more grown up, in preparation for work next week. I can get back to the debauchery after that - the day of Culture! has been planned and it's going to be fun.

So it's been a busy week. Lots of friends and fun and late nights and sleepy mornings and stuff that wasn't in the plan. But that's the best kind of stuff. I reckon, anyway. 

By the way - I also had my very first ever special 'massage' at airport security. The lady who caressed me had very soft hands and she was firm, but gentle. I thought afterwards we might go for dinner or see a movie but I guess it was not to be. I will tell you one thing though - they are bloody thorough.

And also thanks and kudos to Amy's dad who was the sweetest and most generous dad ever - especially when faced with a household of ladies. Ladies who like to sing a lot. He was a true hero.

Lucy as Luna, me as Moaning Myrtle, Kylie as Lily and Martha as Ginny.

*the plan is to buy a copy with a new cover on every adventure I go on - that way I'll collect them all and they'll all have fab memories of crazy times attached.

How to write a YA Vampire Novel

Earlier tonight, a friend was telling me about the vampire Young Adult fiction she was currently reading. After a while, I noticed there was a bit of a trend in the core matter, let's not say 'formulaic' but that there were certain similarities in the storylines of many of the vamp fics available today..

So, for your reading pleasure and entertainment, may I present my guide to writing Vampire Fiction for a YA audience.

1.  You need a Heroine. She needs to be gawky, clumsy, scrawny and to all intents and purposes 'unattractive'... until someone hands her a mascara wand whereupon she will miraculously become a proper little stunner. She, in short, is just like us! She's not especially pretty or clever, she's just an average girl in an average world. Except she is stunningly pretty and a genius, it's just she's so modest and unassuming she doesn't know it! Could she be more perfect? YES! Because she has a secret power! A power which makes her a freak initially, but is later revealed to be the BEST THING EVER. A power which she can use to defeat all evil and darkness. She's soooooo special. That's why she's the Heroine. And not a bit like us. Unless the secret power is causing trains to break down. Then she's a lot like me.

2.  She must be at school, preferably boarding school but definitely under 18. Vampires hate anyone over 18. Older than 18 = Too old. No-one wants to spend eternity with someone with laughter lines. If you're over 18 then immortality is not for you. You're just dinner. Sorry. Also, school adds an opportunity for a repressed sort of setting and some ritualistic torture in the form of a dance. Very important that formal, dress up occasions occur. How else will the frumpy Heroine get to show us all what a stone-cold fox she can be?

3.  There needs to be a hot vampire Hero. Super hot. The kind of hot that makes Johnny Depp look like John Sergeant. He has to be the hottest creature that ever existed. He is handsome, hench, clever, romantic, funny and just a little bit dangerous. And he will fall hopelessly in love with the Heroine. Almost instantly. Before her he was barren and desolate of all feeing, but now he's seen her he cannot rest until he has won her heart. But he will mask all of this by being rude and obnoxious to her, doing everything he can to appear repulsive. But it's ok! It's just a ruse to hide how much he cares for her!

4.  There will be a clique of beautiful, popular people. And they will hate the Heroine. They will never like her.

Never.

Until the Hero admits that behind his cruel exterior, his heart metaphorically beats only for her. Then they will love her and she will abandon the losers she has, until then, called her friends.

5.  The Sidekick/ best friend. Genuinely ugly/frumpy/overweight/stupid. You need one of these to act as a foil for the Heroine. How else will we see how awesome she is if we don't get to see the troll she knocks around with until the beautiful people accept her? And then eat her. That's right, we need a Sidekick as cannon fodder. The Sidekick is going to die. This will give the Heroine a noble purpose and a bit of depth. God knows she needs it. 

    

6.  A secret and underground plot/organisation will exist. So secret we will know all about them by chapter four. Only the Heroine can thwart this diabolical occurrence. And at great peril to herself. Despite the fact she is a schoolgirl, she will somehow have the knowledge and power to overthrow the entire plot. 

7.  The Heroine and Hero will undergo a very very traumatic break-up. They will both pine and weep. Nothing can heal their wounds. Their nights are haunted by dreams of being in each other's arms. Their days are spent chasing shadows which look like each other. At least, until the Heroine meets The Love Rival. Then she'll miraculously rally. Atta girl. 

8.  The Love Rival. Impossibly, another man of exquisite beauty exists and guess what? He falls in love with the Heroine too! What are the chances?! But he will always be thwarted because, despite the fact he is a deeply better person than the Hero, the Heroine will dump him as soon as the Hero returns to claim her back. But in all likelihood she'll keep him dangling anyway, tossing a few kisses his way every now and then. These will be 'mistakes' designed to stop him ever having a chance at happiness. This, much like the Hero's mentalist behaviour, is perfectly OK. 

9.  There will be a distinct lack of parents/guardians/authority figures. They may only show up to show unresolved tension in the Heroine's past or to provide comic relief. They will certainly never show up or be mentioned during any kind of apocalypse/ nefarious event which the Heroine is single-handedly battling. This is why boarding schools are useful. 

And there you have it. Don't worry too much about any further plot, you can fill any gaps with a bit of snogging or brooding. 

Good luck!

I am not a professional writer so don't take this too seriously :)