Monday, 31 October 2011

2.8 Hours Later

So, it's been an amazing week. I made a lot of jewellery, bought a sewing machine and spent 2.8 hours last night running through south London from zombies.

2.8 Hours Later is a city-wide game that takes place over the course of 2.8 hours. You, as one of the last surviving members of the human race, are released in a city with a map, complete with grid reference. The object of the game is to find fellow survivors, get their stories and the next grid location, where another survivor and grid location wait for you. You make your way across the map, avoiding the zombies, who are ready, willing and able to attack you until you finally make it to Resistance HQ. If you are tagged by a zombie, you are Infected and you're destined to become one of them.

We arrived at the launch base where we were given our maps and arm-bands. Covering south-east London, from Waterloo East Railway station to Shortwave Films in Bermondsey Sqaure, we had 2.8 hours to travel the 1.5 mile square contamination area. Sounds easy? Wrong.

We were given our first location and began to make our way there. Within two minutes of release, we saw our first zombie, lurking on a corner we had to walk past. We watched some brave souls try and run past, seeing one zombie and then another pelt after them. We turned and ran the opposite way, circumventing the corner and travelling in relative safety. This was to be the pattern for the rest of the night.

We skirted along side streets, running through the alley ways between blocks of flats, sidling down past cars. Every shadow was an enemy, every footfall potential death. What started out as a fun game very quickly became an immersive fight for survival.

We made it to the car-park, our first location, easily locating it from the sounds of shrieks and snarls slashing through the air. The few people passing by looked nervous enough. And they didn't have to go in it.

We had to make our way to Level 14, the very top. The first nine levels via the stairs, the remaining five through the car-park and up the ramps. Every few moments, we'd hear shrieks above us, the fluorescent lighting showing the abject fear on everyone's faces in stark relief. Footsteps and screams echoed around us. We made it, so slowly, up the stairs and out onto level nine. We saw another survivor, hiding behind a pillar. He gestured upwards, indicating one of the Infected was close. We ran over, realising quickly that in such a narrow space, even outnumbering the creature, one of us would be Infected if we tried to take on the zombie. So we climbed the car park, hauling ourselves up over railings and concrete barriers, squeezing through gaps a foot and half wide. In utter silence, save for the snarling. Using this method, we got to the top, quickly locating the sweets we needed to use to bribe the next survivor into telling us where to go.

We began to make our way down the stairwell when from above us came a scream. One of the Infected was inside. We ran, our group separating in a bid for survival. Lee and I climbed our way back down through the car park, not trusting the paths. Finally, after what felt like forever, we were out. We'd made it. Minutes later, Brian hurtled out. He'd made it too.

On the way to the next grid location, we passed a number of pubs, all of which had other armband-clad survivors in them, chugging back drinks, looking shaken and relieved. It was truly harrowing, reality completely suspended. We all genuinely went to a place in which we believed our survival depended on not getting tagged. It was awesome.

We got to the next location easily, a church with a priest chained to the fence outside. We were all veteran enough to know a chained man was not going to be a friend so we kept well back, working hard to coax him into the next location...



The Priest. Even the Infected love Mountain Dew. 
The butcher.

Using our stealth tactics, we came at this one backwards, so were treated to the sight of the zombies waiting stealthily for the unsuspecting survivors to leave the relative safety of the location. We were also warned by those that had made it through that these two were fast and unrelenting. Girding ourselves, we went around and entered the butcher's lair, where a blood spattered man, surrounded by limbs and blood fed us the next location... Before herding us right out onto the street where the two ruthless zombies were waiting. Thankfully, by chance we were in a huge group... and when mob mentality took over it proved useful. The doors had been opened for a few seconds when suddenly everyone was screaming and running blindly, me included. I had no idea where my friends were, where the Infected were. It was just running and screaming. We poured out onto the next street, finally slowing and laughing. We'd made it. Again. But how much longer could our luck hold?

The pub. Sounds nice. Swift pint at the Winchester and wait for it all to blow over? Wrong. We were herded inside a dingy, abandoned pub inhabited by a mad woman with a genre-appropriate pool cue. And when 'Don't Stop Me Now,' started playing, apparently of it's own accord, we knew we were screwed. One of the Infected lurched out from behind the bar. More running. 

Our next stop was to find a wise man on the streets, which we did... (and we bunged him £1.50 for his awesome one-stringed violin skills) and he gave us the next location. To find the Mad Scientist... who had the location of Resistance HQ. If we could make it there, we were safe. We'd come so far, two hours, on foot, in the dark... To get to the Mad Scientist we first had to navigate our way through the Zombie Hen Party, a group of slow moving, staggering, undead chavettes. Who spat at you. We didn't see the one behind the car, pelting madly past her. At the end of the streets we scoured our clothing. 'Did they get you?' we called, inspecting ourselves. 'What about me, my back? Can you see anything?'. Grateful to have once again survived we moved to our next location. The final hurdle before safety. 


Sluts of the Dead. Bringing a whole new meaning to 'Lady of the Night'.
The Mad Scientist stood on a corner, surrounded by the Infected. He beckoned us over, telling us as long as we stayed within 3 metres of him, we'd be safe. I called bullshit but the boys ran over and weren't attacked so I went for it. I did not stay within three metres. I was so close to the man that I may need to do a pregnancy test. Even if he didn't knock me up, he definitely owes me dinner and a movie for services rendered. All the while I was glued to him, a zombie circled, smelling us as the Scientist told us about a serum he'd invented, which made the Infected disinterested. This was how he could stand amongst them and be unhurt. He gave us the location of the Resistance safe-house, where the serum was housed. And then we had to run the gauntlet of the Killing Fields. Between 8 and 12 Infected stood on the narrow street, behind us, 3 more had blocked the way back. We had to run. I was tagged almost immediately, Lee a few moments later as two converged on him. Brian managed to evade them a bit longer but they got him too. We stood and watched a group of 15 tried to run the field too. Only one made it.

We were let into a building, where very scary and bio-suited men screamed at us, herding us into a lift to see if we were Infected. Then we were sent to make-up and then disco!
Your intrepid losers. Luckily, there is still booze in the afterlife. That's a Win in my book.
Honestly, it was hands down one of the best nights of my life. Even on the way back to the car, north of the river we were still unconsciously pausing to peer around side streets and scanning for scrub-clad demons. So much effort and time and planning must have gone into making it. And it was so authentic. The last time I got that involved with a game was playing Jurassic Park in the fields near where I grew up. As a small child. There were genuinely times when I felt my life was at stake, when I forgot I was playing a game. Whether you love zombies, or whether you just fancy a challenge, do it. I can't advocate it highly enough. Today I am shattered, achey and an emotional wreck. But I'd do it again tomorrow if I could.

It was the very best way to celebrate Halloween...
... Much aided by the fact we got home and Jules had made a Pumpkin Pie and there was a bottle of red for me. No brains though.



Wednesday, 19 October 2011

In which I attempt to learn a language using Heath Ledger and Television!

Hej! Guess who just got back from Sweden? Well, obviously it’s me or this would be a blog about someone else, in which case I wouldn’t be here. And you shouldn’t be either.

I love Sweden. So much. I’ve spent a lot of time this year screaming ‘GAMLA STAN!’ in a manner usually reserved for bellowing ‘FOR GONDOR!’, if that’s any indicator of how much I like it there. Everyone is just so NICE. They really are. People smile at you in the streets and it’s not a precursor to a stabbing. And the food… so much cheese! And cake! So imagine my joy when I got to go back, only this time to Gothenburg (or ‘Gotham City’, as I like to call it).

Flew out last week with Easyjet, my first experience with them, and I was apprehensive. BUT NO NEED! It turned into my joint-first favourite flight ever. The flight attendants were ace, lovely, cheeky, charming and very whimsical. Not everyone likes a bit of whimsy when they’re 33,000ft up but I’m quite the fan, So thanks to Kevin for the best sales pitch of a bacon roll I’ve ever seen and thanks to Duncan for just being a sweetie. I giggled in an unseemly fashion for most of the flight thanks to them.

We landed and I promptly got us lost in the wrong bit of Sweden. So I texted our Swedish Liason for advice:

Me: Hi! Do we need to get off at Mölndal Centrum?
Elvira: NO! NO! It’s near Elisedal!
Me: TOO LATE! We’ve gone past that! We’ve committed to Mölndal!
Elvira: BUT THAT’S TOO FAR!
Me: It’s ok! It’s an adventure
Mikey: ._.

Eventually we found it, checked in and had some tea before heading into Korsvägen to meet Elvira for dinner. She took us to Skojarbacken, which is a restaurant near the Lorensberg part of Gothenberg. I loved it. I have a thing about quirky and off-the-wall places, I’m not one for chrome and clean lines and this had none of that. It did have a massive stuffed moose, lots of lace, wall-mounted tuxedos and fairy lights. And a disco ball. Perfect. After a delicious dinner, we went on a moonlit tour of Gothenburg before heading back to the hostel for a cup of tea and the Deathly Hallows audiobook.



The following day, we went to the Universeum and got to wander through an aquarium, see an octopus and some sharks, walk over a ray lake, meander through a rainforest, do some horse riding, race a cockroach and try and escape a laser maze. I can’t explain how much fun this was so I suggest you go. Leave your dignity and adult perspective at the door. This is one for your inner-child.
The afternoon brought a quick mooch around Gothenburg (including visits to 7 bookshops) and then Mikey and I went out for an amazing dinner at a local restaurant and got pally with the local mafia. Sorted. Then I took it upon myself to learn Swedish from the telly. Namely, the subtitles on Casanova. Here are my learnings:

Vad? = What?
Adjö = Goodbye
Nej = No
Latrin = Cesspit
Bok = Book
Drag = Pull
Tryck = Push
Bra = Good

More words later…

On Friday… I SAW A MOOSE! We went to a park with seals and penguins and deer and MOOSE!



And we worked out that one British penny = one Knut, and so the amounts of Knuts to Sickles and Sickles to Galleons is not the arbitrary use of random numbers, but something deeper. We should have known. Then we went shopping and on a boat. 

And back to Skojarbackan for dinner, where I ate moose:




Saturday: Mikey, Binbags and I broke into a beach so we could see the sea. This involved walking through a forest, climbing some rocks, scrambling under two fences, climbing more rocks and then finally getting caught by a man whose major concern was that we’d snuck there to kill ourselves. After hasty reassurance, he pointed a window to the sea out to us and left us to our non-suicidal business.

In the evening we went out to Frölunda to watch the Wizard Wrock, where we were treated to acetastic performances by The Pumpkin Pasties, Romilda Vane and the Chocolate Cauldrons, Solitary Snape, Lockharts Beundrarpost, The Deathly Hallows and Siriusly Hazza P, all of whom had the crowd jumping around like nutters. Except for those of us who’d broken into the beach, who were knackered from the law breaking. Instead, we sat down nicely like the X-Factor judges and viewed it. Still danced in my chair though. I also fell hopelessly in love with Solitary Snape. They had me at the immortal line 'Stop biting kids'. I want them to play my wedding.

The next day was Sunday. Home time. I don’t want to talk about that. Except the bit where I was allowed to have a look in the cockpit of the plane. Easyjet rule. It was a den of debauchery in there though, all the controls are called things like 'thrust' and 'flaps'. This made for ten minutes of hilarity and 'that's what she said' jokes as they explained to me how the plane worked. 

Here are some Swedish swearwords I learnt:

Fan  = Fuck
Slampa = Slut/Whore
Sat Mara = Bitch
Fjant = Twat
Din Javel  = You bastard!
Tjenare snygging = Hey good-looking (not a swearword but needed just in case)

And there you have it. Sweden. I love it.

In other news:

I saw Iron and Wine in Shepherd’s Bush and they were amazing;
I booked tickets to go to Leavesden Studios on opening day
I’m going to a Labyrinth Masquerade Ball and film showing next month
I have started making jewellery… whether this turns into a money-making thing is still up in the air but it’s fun.

And that’s all for now.

Are you jealous?